Crazy Tired.

I loved waking up this morning, the sun was peering through my curtains, and all 3 kids had slowly made their way into my bed for morning cuddles, and giggles. (Well, I guess 2 kids made their way, the youngest of the 3 has "made a way" to be in my bed all night long.) 

Good Morning!!

Anyway, we are all laughing and having a great time, then M girl says "Mommy, what's sex?" ... ... ... ... ... ... ... Me: "Well uh, well. Really M girl? For starters where did you hear that word?" It's obvious that the people who say home schooled kids are sheltered and don't socialize really don't have a clue about home schooling at all. We still have plenty of jaw dropping questions asked around here. Plenty. So after we finished up our very vague conversation about sex, we headed out for breakfast and of course coffee for myself. 

I leaned back against the counter breathing in the smell and soaking up the taste of that first sip of hot coffee, I love savoring it. Probably because it's the only taste I get of hot coffee. I was thinking about the day and how it is all going to play out, we are starting 1st grade with M girl here today! (Prayers appreciated!) I was really soaking up and enjoying this morning, now that I think about it...I know why. I actually woke up. This isn't going to be a wonderful spiritual blog post about how wonderful it was that Jesus woke me up this morning, I am thankful he did that. However, what I meant was that this morning I am just thankful I woke up, and wasn't already awake. 

Yes, I do have three kids but I seem to have forgotten the joys of a teething child. Thing is when it's your third and you don't sleep at all, there isn't the luxury of taking a nap, staying in bed a little later then usual, or just taking a lazy day. (meaning for stay at home moms...mommas that have to be showered and out the door by 6 or 7 am- you are super woman. I couldn't function in public most days.) See around here, every time Pip has a sleepless night, she falls into this amazing restful sleep right around 6:30 am, when the other two usually wake up no later then 7:30 am. It's perfect! Just enough time for me to crash, HARD, only to be awakened about 30 minutes later with a pounding headache. You all know what I am talking about. Doesn't matter how many kiddos you have, if you are a mom, it's happened. Those short little naps that leave you worse off then when you started are a gift straight from satan himself. I'm certain. 

So here is why I am writing this post, D and I spent most of the afternoon yesterday laughing hysterically at my state of "craziness" the night before. I'm really glad we are laughing about it now, because it was so beyond immature of me, but girls...I am just not responsible for what I do or say when I'm functioning on less then 3 hours of sleep in like 52 hours. Seriously. Around here I am more of the night owl, and D is the morning person. So we have a great system worked out and it works for us. However, some times the kids don't really honor that system, and  this weekend was a great example of that. So bottom line: I was sleep deprived, we had a street festival in our town on Saturday that our church/youth group was doing a big outreach at, my faithful monthly friend had stopped by for her visit, and I was miserable. After baking for two days straight, then being out in the heat and working the festival, I was done. 

D said that he would handle the kids for the evening so I could come home and just crash. Well, that was true until about 8:30 when it was time to get the kids in bed, and he was out on the couch. After enough whining on my part he helped me get them in bed, then I was left alone with Pip. D had some of the guys from youth group spending the night and was watching a movie with them so I was trying to be respectful of that, after all I couldn't unleash my complete crazy while we had house guests. Maybe it was the Lord's will to have guests at our house that night, otherwise it had the potential to get really ugly. Every time I would finally get Pip to sleep something would happen, either the movie was blaring and it was brakes screeching and gun fire, or it was the cat pouncing toys acting totally psychotic. Side note: I hate cats. I went out to ask D to turn the movie down, and to my horror he was dead. asleep. I'm talking mouth hanging wide open, snoring, and probably drooling if it hadn't been to dark for me to see. That's when it happened. I returned to Pip's room where I was pacing the floor, bouncing her and trying my hardest to get her to sleep. The more I walked and bounced the angrier I got. The mental picture I had of D sleeping on the couch kept flashing through my mind. Anyone else been here?? I mean my hubs is NOT a dead beat, by any means. He's extremely helpful, he just can't hold his eyes open for anything after 9 pm. I kept having the thoughts like "yeah, it must be nice to just lay down and sleep." "Must be nice to just relax on the couch and watch a movie without a baby hanging onto your boob for dear life, and climbing all over you." The more I had these thoughts the angrier I got. I switched into crazy mode! So naturally I did what any mature woman would do and started sending him text messages. I knew he wasn't going to get them, but man...it made me feel better. I called my husband a "douche bag". Seriously. I did. See we as mom's have it rough. You know why? We get so exhausted that we just want a break, then when we get the break we end up missing our kids so badly we are dying to see them again. Or in this case, D came to relieve me but PIp was still screaming so there was no way in this world I was going to be able to relax. So this happens:

Me: Ok, just give her to me. 

D: Make up your mind! What do you want me to do? Just go to sleep! 

Me: I can't sleep while she's crying!

D: Well then I don't know what you want me to do. 

Me: Just give her to me, I'll get her to sleep. 

Then it ends with total male confusion and female frustration. In the end, it all worked out fine. He actually was the one to get her to sleep that night, and then at 5:30 the next morning I felt him slide her out from our bed to go rock her and lay her in her bed...and yes, I know it's where she belongs, I just haven't had the strength to convince her that's where she belongs. He fed all the others breakfast and had everyone dressed and ready for church before even coming in to wake me up. 

So see, he's not a dead beat, he's just as tired as I am, truthfully, he's probably even more tired. When he woke me up that morning, I chuckled and said, "So have you checked your text messages yet?" Shockingly he didn't know where his phone was (it's lost 99% of the time) so he said no. As I told him about the messages I sent that night he just busted out laughing. His response: "you were crazy tired. Literally!" Have you mommas ever done something like this? React out of sleepiness only to think later "What was I thinking??" Yeah. Last night I slept pretty good. Pip was still in bed with me, I need to work on that, but more so I needed that sleep. It felt good, and now today I am ready to tackle the world. Well, our little piece of the world. Here's the text messages I sent my husband. Try not to look at me any differently even though I am sure it'll be hard. I love D. I love Jesus. I love my family. I was just tired. Hahahahaha!