Three kids, Me, and the Dog.

I wish I could have a night vision camera in my bedroom on nights that D is either working or away. My kids have this way of knowing when he is absent, even if he sneaks out at 1 am to go to work, they know. It must be some internal instinct, it wakes them from a dead sleep, "Daddy's Gone! Get. in. bed. with. mommy." I know why they do it though. When D is home, if they come get into our bed, he can only handle it for about 5 minutes, then he hauls them back to their bed, tucks them in, and even through their tears demands them to stay. I know it sounds terrible doesn't it?? It makes me feel terrible! I hate it when it's happening, my motherly instincts rage. Not enough of course to make me get out of bed, over ride D's decision, (which would result in a fight at 2 am) and put them back in my bed...but still, I don't like to hear my kids cry. Here's the thing: I am glad he does it most nights, otherwise I would get NO sleep at all, then we would allllll suffer the next day. Now grant it, if they are really afraid, or sick he has mercy and will make them a bed on our floor, or sleep on their floors, he really is a top notch daddy. He is the logical brains of our operation. Mommy instincts have a way of making "us momma's" flat out crazy sometimes. To me, every time they cry in the middle of the night it MUST be because they have had some horrific nightmare, are scared to death, and think they might die. D says "Babe, they are fine!" I say "If we don't go now they will be scarred for life!!" (kinda) This happened just a couple weeks ago, we got into quite the argument (at 2 am) because I was nursing the baby, Batman was screaming, and D was sleeping away! I was so angry thinking it was a nightmare and he had to be terrified. D wasn't convinced. He finally got up to go check and turns out Batman woke up, and didn't like his pillowcase. :-/ Oops. Anyway, all this to say, I am WAY to tired and out of it in the middle of the night to walk them each back to their respective beds, re-tuck them in, fetch a sip of water, re-tuck them in, then be "woman enough" to walk away ignoring their cries and begs to come back to my bed. I just can't make myself do it. So instead, I deal with flying arms, legs and massive heads all night long. Let me tell you something. I love my kids to the moon and back, but when I am laying half asleep on my pillow and they throw their massive heads backwards only to land right on my face, it takes every ounce of restraint I have to not knock them to the moon and back! There has been more than one black eye, in our house because of this. (Notice the size of batman's dome, then add in a healthy dose of 2 year old little boy energy and you'll understand.) The way my nose has cracked on some occasions, I come up for air swearing that it's broken, but so far the Lord has spared me a crooked nose. He knows what we can handle. Having extra baby weight, and always wearing a pony tail is good enough, a crooked nose would probably throw me over the edge. Bottom line, I love having my babies close, as annoying and potentially dangerous as it may be I like having them next to me. I'm thinking the search for a california king starts now...